Ramblings of an Idiot
by Saelan
Summary: This is kind of a sequel to "Scraps of Stupidity", which actually turned out to be pretty popular. It's going to be similar to "SoS", but set instead in the KH universe. And yes, a few things in these chapters are related to other things I've written. Yea
1. Rated R

(Roxas and Axel sit at home; it is late afternoon and Roxas is laying on the couch, lost in thought, and Axel is staring at the younger boy, unable to find a way to occupy himself. The apartment is completely trashed, due to Roxas' restless fit earlier that day.)

Roxas: Hey Axel.

Axel: Hmmm?

Roxas: What do ya wanna do this weekend?

(Axel shrugs.)

Axel: I dunno. Got any plans?

Roxas: Nothing in particular. What about a movie?

Axel: .... It's not going to be like last time, right?

Roxas: ...? What happened last time?

Axel: Rox, you almost sent a five-year-old to the hospital over a bag of candy.... Don't act like you don't remember!

Roxas: He was being a brat! It was MY candy! **I **bought it!

(Roxas sits up with his arms crossed, fuming.)

Axel: You're just like a little kid.

Roxas: I am not!

Axel: You're having a temper tantrum! You are too!

(Roxas turns red and grits his teeth, mostly in good humor.)

Roxas: Go... away!

Axel: No. And I don't think going to a movie's a great idea. Is there anything else you'd like to do? That doesn't involve kicking the asses of small children preferably?

(Roxas glares at him, and Axel grins.)

Roxas: Not REALLY. I would go by myself, but it's rated fucking R and they won't let me in. Without you.

Axel: .... I see. How about this: you clean up this mess you made, and we can go tonight.

Roxas: I am NOT a little kid! I don't have to listen to you! You aren't my mom, Axel!

Axel: Come ON! It's a fucking pigsty, and if it's that bad by my standards, it must be pretty damn toxic. Come on, Rox!

(Axel walks over and begins to drag him from the couch, but Roxas puts up a fight.)

Roxas: NO!!!

Axel: I'll even help ya! It smells like burnt rotten eggs mixed with feet!

Roxas: Then it must smell GOOD to you!

Axel: No... And what the hell's that hanging from the lamp?

(Roxas shrugs and tries to get back to his spot on the couch. He grabs the back of it and hangs on for dear life.)

Roxas: Ax-el! NO!!! I'm not gonna clean the fucking apartment all day!

(Axel gives up trying to drag him and simply picks him up.)

Axel: Look, if we don't clean it, there'll be fucking roaches everywhere! Either I can help you do it now and we go to the movie tonight, or we'll sit here and do nothing and you can clean it in the morning when I go back to work.

Roxas: Unghh... But I don't wan-na!

Axel: Rox.... It's your choice. I'm willing to help ya, but.... Oh, come on! What's up with the socks?!?

(Roxas looks toward a trio of mix-matched socks stuck on various objects in the kitchen.)

Roxas: I dunno.

(Axel drops him on the floor several feet from the couch.)

Axel: Well, go find out.

(Roxas sits up, seething.)

Roxas: I... hate... you....

(Later at the theater, after the apartment was somewhat cleaned ~due to Roxas' constant nagging and repeated refusal to obey~ Axel and Roxas stand in line to get tickets for the movie.)

Axel: Maybe now you'll stop bothering me every five minutes and shut up for a while....

Roxas: It's your fault.

Axel: How was any of that MY fault?!?

Roxas: Everything's your fault.

(Axel punches him in the arm, nearly sending him into the small fountain he was looking at.)

Roxas: Why are you so mean to me?

Axel: 'Cause it's fun.

Roxas: Whatever. I still can't believe you tipped the couch over on me....

Axel: I still can't believe you're carrying on about it two hours later....

Roxas: You almost broke my arm!

Axel: I did not.

Roxas: Did too!

Axel: .... Wittle kiddie.

(Roxas crosses his arms and fixes Axel with his death stare.)

Roxas: I am NOT! You're so asking for it, Axel!

Axel: Oh, I'm SO scared of the little four-foot-something blond kid. Yeah. Terrifying.

(Roxas clenches his fists and glares at Axel.)

Axel: What, no response? Ah, you can do it, Roxy!

Roxas: I'm warning you.

Axel:.... Your warning's are just about as accurate as a kindergartener's weather predictions of the other side of the world....

Roxas: Axel....

Axel: Roxas....

(Roxas breathes out heavily, and Axel flicks him on the forehead. Roxas blinks, then tackles Axel.)

Roxas: I tried to warn you!

Axel: Whaddaya gonna do? Rub my face in the sand box?

(Ten minutes later, Roxas and Axel are handcuffed to chairs in the theater security office. Axel continually had to try to keep himself from laughing, and Roxas looked away, staring at the plant on the desk in front of him.)

Security Chief: What happened, boys?

(Roxas looks up, but immediately goes back to examining the plant.)

Axel: Ah, we didn't mean anything by it. Roxas here just has a short temper and can't take a joke.

(Roxas mumbles something.)

Security Chief: Could you repeat that, please?

Roxas: He... called me a kid. And flicked me.

Security Chief: Is this true?

(Axel nods and looks at Roxas, wondering if he had hit his head on the sidewalk.)

Security Chief: And... why did you call him a kid?

Axel:.... You haven't seen one of his fits. Just trust me.

Roxas: Shut up. Just shut the hell up.

Security Chief: Hey, hey, hey. No need for language, sir.

Roxas: But... he.... UNGH!

Security Chief: O-kay, then. I'm sure you both understand the consequences of your actions....

Axel: We can't come here anymore, right?

Security Chief: .... That's correct. We don't like to get the police involved in these minor cases.... It'd be too much trouble for them.

Roxas: I just wanted to see a movie..... He always has to ruin everything!

Security Chief: Who?

(Roxas points at Axel.)

Roxas: I'm starting to think he's mentally unstable! He tried to flatten me with a couch earlier!

(The room falls silent.)

Axel: I did not. You wouldn't get off your lazy a....

Security Chief: I think I've heard enough. Now, please, out. Get out and leave everyone else in peace. And don't come back. Please.

Axel: Tattletale.

Roxas: Bully.

(The security chief unlocks the handcuffs and motions toward the door, and Axel and Roxas leave silently, making their way back home with Roxas trailing behind moodily.)

Roxas: Told ya that everything's your fault. Now we have nothing to do.

Axel: There's always plenty to do.

Roxas: .... Like what?

Axel: Mess with you!

(Axel begins running back to the apartment, with Roxas desperately following, unable to find the apartment building by himself.)

Roxas: Stop it! I'm gonna get you, Axel!

Axel: What are you now, the fucking Boogeyman?

Roxas: You just wait and see!

Axel: I shaking with fear, Roxy!

Roxas: You had better be!


	2. Interviews

(Demyx, out of simple curiosity, decides to interview Roxas and Axel to answer a few questions that had been bothering him since Roxas joined the Organization; there was, overall, only one answer that he truly wanted….)

Roxas

Demyx: SO, Roxas! You're actually going to give me an interview?!?

Roxas: …. Dem, do I have a choice? You were trying to climb the wall to get pictures of the inside of the apartment…. Does Soko know you're playing paparazzi again?

(Demyx glances briefly down at his shoes and shakes his head gently.)

Demyx: Not exactly…. But you'll answer my questions, right?

Roxas: …. I guess.

Demyx: Do you SWEAR you'll answer?

Roxas: Sure. Whatever.

(Demyx grins, and Roxas can't help but flinch. When Demyx looked happy, that usually meant something bad for everyone around him.)

Demyx: Okay! So, when did you join the Organization?

Roxas: Dem, you were there…. Why are you asking me?

Demyx: Fine. Fair enough. Who was your best friend at the Organization?

Roxas: Do you even have to ask that?

(Demyx cringes and looks down at the words he wrote on his hand.)

Demyx: …. Do you still keep in touch with this person?

Roxas: …. What do you think?

Demyx: How long have you known each other again?

Roxas: Dem, are you going to ask anything you don't already know?

Demyx: …. Yes. In a minute. Umm…. Oh! I know! Describe your relationship with this person!

Roxas: We're roommates. You know th…. Hey! Where are you trying to go with this?!?

(Roxas blushes furiously and Demyx tries to look innocent, but fails miserably.)

Demyx: Nowhere, Roxas.

Roxas: I don't believe you. If you're gonna start that shit again, get out of my house.

Demyx: It's an apartment. And you rent it so it's not technically….

Roxas: Just… go. If you have nothing pleasant to say, please don't bother to say it.

Demyx: But…! I just wanna know! Please tell me! Please, Roxas!

(Roxas' face takes on a faint shade of purple under the red.)

Roxas: No. Get out. You know everything you'll ever need to know.

********

Axel

(After a few days of laying low and waiting for Roxas to leave Axel alone at the apartment, Demyx finally manages to corner him.)

Demyx: Hey, Axel!

Axel: WHAT, Demyx?!? That's the fourth fucking time you've done that! You're gonna meet your demise if you say it one more time!

(Demyx flinches slightly and glances down at the black smear on his hand that had once been his cheat sheet.)

Demyx: Would you answer a few questions? Please?

Axel: …. Would you leave me alone afterwards so that I don't have to decapitate you?

Demyx: Uh, sure. So you'll do it?

Axel: If it'll shut you up today, I'd jump off of the tallest building in this world.

Demyx: Okay! When did you join the Organization?

Axel: … About four months before you.

Demyx: Uh, when was that?

(Axel looks at him in disbelief and lays his head against the back of the armchair.)

Axel: I dunno. When did you suddenly appear in the realm of Nothingness? A few years ago maybe?

Demyx: …. Next question. Who was your best friend at the Organization?

Axel: I swear, Dem, you ask the most idiotic things….

Demyx: Fine. Don't answer that one either. Do you still keep in touch with this person?

Axel: "This person"? Who are you trying to be?

(Demyx begins to get frustrated, increasing Axel's amusement.)

Demyx: Gah! Whatever. How long have you known each other?

Axel: Since the Organization. Duh. No, wait. I was at the grocery store and just happened to run him over with the cart!

Demyx: Really?

Axel: …. No.

Demyx: Describe your relationship with this person.

Axel: What?

Demyx: Describe your relationship with Roxas.

Axel: And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Demyx: I'm just asking….

Axel: Didn't we go through this right before the Organization fell? Didn't I get attacked by the fucking Moon Man because I blew a hole in the wall of the meeting room? And now you're asking me the same thing when no one's around to save your ass from annihilation?

Demyx: … But it's your apartment. You wouldn't do that here, would ya?

Axel: I could fix the hole…. Eventually. We already lost the deposit, anyway. What could a little fire hurt, other than you?

Demyx: I think I'll pass. But you have to admit, you and Roxas are pretty close…. A lot of people might wonder about….

Axel: Yeah, perverted jerks like you!

(Axel rises from the chair and begins to walk toward Demyx, an evil grin plastered on his face.)

Axel: Got any more questions, Dem?

Demyx: No, I think I'm good!

(Demyx laughs nervously and starts toward the door.)

Demyx: Ya know, I think I might leave…. BYE!!!

Roxas and Axel

(Post-Interview)

Axel: Rox? Do you think he suspects something?

Roxas: What? Who are you talking about?

Axel: Demyx. With those damn interviews. Do you think he suspects that we…?

Roxas: …. Knowing him, probably. Let's just forget about it, 'kay?

Axel: What's the point? He's just gonna bring it up again in a few months! Let's PROVE to him that there's nothing going on between us!

Roxas: Find a way, then. That doesn't involve physical or mental warfare, any kind of violence, fire, or killing Demyx somehow.

Axel, muttering: Crap. There goes my plan….

Roxas: Hmm?

Axel: Nothing, Rox, nothing at all.

Roxas: Although it might be kind of fun…. I shouldn't encourage you, though. So, no. No. No. Understand? No.

Axel: Yeah, I get it, I get it. Damn.


	3. Sugar and Ice

#Okay, I decided to do something different for this one. Most people write about nothing but Axel and Roxas from the Organization, and even Xemnas tends to get quite a bit of attention these days.... I guess people are starting to get bored. Anyway, I feel just a little sorry for Vexen, so.... Okay, fine, I really don't care much for him, but whatever! Yeah. And please don't attack this story because I KNOW Demyx, Axel, and Xigbar use a ton of slang. It's just the way I do their dialogue! Oh, and I have to give Vexen-Chan (Raven) quite a bit of credit in the creation of this. YEY!!!!#

(Vexen sits in his laboratory in the basement of Castle Oblivion, reviewing the final drafts of his new experiment. He makes one minor change, then gathers the papers and starts up the stairs.)

Vexen: It is finally done! I can now examine the interior of a Heartless without an explosion! Xigbar should be pleased.... I need only a Soldier to perform this task....

(Demyx runs out from a nearby room, slamming the door and narrowly missing Bob, his pet Shadow Heartless. He begins screaming, trying to avoid being tagged by the minute creature, and runs straight into Vexen. The papers Number IV was holding fly every which way.)

Vexen: You... imbecile! It took me nine months, fourteen days, and five hours to write those papers! If any of them were damaged, you can be sure that the Superior will have your head on a plate for dinner by tonight!

Demyx, whimpering and backing away: But... but... but I didn't MEAN to do it!!!

Vexen: It doesn't matter! You have been told countless times not to play such foolish games in the castle, especially down here! Now SCRAM, you idiot!

(Demyx glares at him, then teleports with Bob back to his room.)

Vexen, muttering: Why must it always be me who has to put up with their sorry asses....

(Another Organization member appears at the top of the stairway. About halfway down, Vexen sees it is Larxene.)

Vexen: ....

Larxene: What are you mumbling about, Vexy? Life not good enough for you anymore?

Vexen: Number IX.... Idiot. Look what he did!

(Vexen gestures to the papers scattered all over the floor.)

Larxene: What a shame. Why don't you do something about it? Ice freezes water, ya know.

(She laughs, making Vexen look up warily from his task.)

Larxene: What? Not one for violence? Can't give you any advice then, Vexy. What a waste.

Vexen: .... Waste of what?

Larxene: Power. To such a half-wit. Demyx. He can't really be USED for anything, and even if he could be, he's too WEAK to be helpful in any way.

Vexen: .... He is, indeed, a waste, isn't he?

Larxene, whispering: Maybe you should do something about it.

(Larxene turns and waves, going back up the stairs.)

Vexen, muttering to himself: But the real question may be this: can you really be trusted, Number XII?

Larxene: You doubt my intentions?

(Vexen looks back up, shocked that she had heard him.)

Larxene: And too big of a coward to say it to my face? You never change, do you, old man?

(She walks down two stairs, and sends electricity flying at Vexen. Vexen keels over and falls to the floor, remaining there motionless. Larxene laughs and continues her trek up the stairs.)

Vexen: Why... am I.... always the one... who gets elect-ro-cuted?

(A portal appears next to Vexen, and Xigbar steps through.)

Xigbar: Whassup, dude.

(Vexen slowly crawls back to his desk so he could be able to stand up.)

Vexen: What do you want from me, Number II?

Xigbar: Nothin' much. Just wondering how the experiment's been comin' along.

Vexen: .... Well, let's see.... If you hadn't abandoned your position as fourth head of the lab, you would know, wouldn't you?

(Xigbar scowls and crosses his arms, looking away from the old man trying to get off of the floor.)

Xigbar: Ya know, Vexy, you don't always have to be so uptight.... Loosen up a little, will ya?

Vexen: No, I will not! Because, unlike you, I do not deny my identity!

Xigbar: What are ya talking about, dude?

Vexen: .... Xigbar.... I've known you for quite a while now, and a while back I noticed that you are not the brightest bulb in the chandelier....

Xigbar, smacking himself in the forehead: Oh, here we go again with this crap!

Vexen: Number II, just because you act like you are a teenager does NOT mean that you really are one!

Xigbar: Man, you're completely out of whack!

Vexen: .... My point exactly. Everyone gets old, Xigbar, there is no way to deny it!

(Xigbar shakes his head, calls the portal back, and leaves Vexen staring after a rather obscene hand gesture. Vexen finally gets back to his feet and dusts himself off.)

Vexen: Why...?

(Xigbar reappears behind Vexen and smacks him in the back of the head, grinning.)

Xigbar: Ah, come on, old dude! You don't think I'd give up that easy, do ya?

(Vexen calls his shield just as Xigbar's guns materialized, successfully saving himself from possible erasure.)

Xigbar: Let's go, dude! 'Fraidy cat! Bring-it-on!

(Vexen groans and freezes the entire basement, then defrosts everything except Xigbar; he pushes the rigid member over on his way back to the stairs, starting to pick up the papers again. A few minutes later, he was finally able to finish his journey up the flight of stairs.)

Vexen, muttering to himself as Axel walks by: Asshole!

(Axel stops and turns around, glaring at Vexen.)

Axel: What did you call me?

(Vexen doesn't notice him and continues talking to himself.)

Vexen: He should know better than to act like something he's not! Honestly, grow up! Everyone sees what he's trying to hide....

(Axel throws a flaming chakram at Vexen, then laughs as the old man falls back down the stairs.)

Axel: Take that, you old bastard! And you'd better watch what you say, asshole!

(Vexen looks up at him in anger, then notices the small shreds of black paper drifting down the staircase.)

Vexen: My... my work!!!

(Xigbar's head was thawed by the fire, and he begins laughing.)

Xigbar: Serves ya right, dude!

Vexen: Why? WHY is it always my fault somehow?

(Xigbar goes into hysterics.)

Xigbar: Dude! You're sucha loser!

Vexen: I do not recall asking your opinion, DUDE!

(Vexen refreezes Xigbar's head, adding an extra layer of ice to be sure it wouldn't happen again anytime soon.)

Vexen: ... It seems someone should learn how to grow up...

(Vexen looks sadly at the burnt fragments, then straightens up and begins walking up the stairs again.)

Demyx, out of view: Bob! Come back! You know I can't run up walls!

(Vexen reaches the top of the staircase, seeing Bob climb back down the adjacent wall, carrying a glass jar filled with a white powdery substance.)

Vexen: What... is that?

(Demyx takes the jar and sniffs it, his eyes lighting up.)

Demyx: Bob! Guess what! It's SHOO-GER!!!

(Roxas enters the room, trying to find Luxord.)

Roxas: Dem, that isn't Xiggy's, is it?

Demyx, shrugging: I dunno. I love sugar! Come on, Bobby!

Roxas: Please don't eat that.

(Demyx sarcastically opens the jar, sticks in a finger, then licks the white powder off of his finger, looking at Roxas.)

Roxas: Dem-yx!

Demyx: Mmmm... This is GOOD! Have some, Bob!

Roxas, screaming: Demyx!

(Xaldin and Marluxia enter the room, with Axel trailing behind them. Marluxia is arguing with Axel.)

Marluxia: You misunderstand. If the inverse and the opposite are related....

Axel: They aren't related, for the third time! They.... Roxas, what the hell?

(Roxas is trying to wrestle the jar away from Demyx, and immediately pulls back, turning red.)

Roxas: DemYX is eating Xiggy's "sugar".

Axel: .... I see.

Xaldin: IX, you should know better by now.

Axel: Yeah. Remember the last time, Dem? You were stuck in bed for two d....

Demyx: UNGH!!! MY SUGAR!!

(Demyx turns away and continues eating the substance.)

Marluxia: It seems as though there is nothing else we can do.

Xaldin, grinning: Prepare to hide.

(Vexen begins laughing madly, recalling what happened on the last wild goose chase with Demyx running after them.)

Marluxia: .... Is something funny, IV?

Vexen, stilling laughing: He... food.... octopus!

(Axel and Roxas look at each other, then take a step back from Vexen.)

Xaldin: He's lost it.

Roxas: Definitely.

Axel: Hey, Icicle! Are you....?

Vexen: I have a love-ly bunch of coconuts! Duh, duh, duh, duh! Here they are a-standing in a row.

(Vexen starts dancing.)

Axel: .... He's gone completely loony.

Roxas: Yep.

Marluxia: I shall go inform the Superior.

Xaldin: I'm not escorting the old fucker again! It's such a pain in the ass!

Marluxia, calling a portal: Take Demyx with you. I'm such he's just BURSTING with anticipation!

(Vexen continues dancing.)

Vexen: Ant-i-cip-a-tion! Ant-i-cip-a-a-tion is mak-in' me wait!

Axel: Yeah, this guy's gotta go. Like now.

Marluxia: Have a nice trip, Number III!

Xaldin: Crap.


	4. Contagious

#Okay, yeah. This is the second part of "Sugar and Ice". Yes, another grand creation, thanks to the creepiness of Vexy-Chan! (Yeah, I'm gonna blame you! You kept it going!) Yey. Don't expect to make sense out of this chapter! Blame the sugar! And VEXY! I also have to give credit to Numa Numa (Priscilla). Blah. Oh, and by the way, the Tarzan reference IS from the ToyBox song. Thanks for noticing.....#

(Xaldin and Demyx were, of course, assigned to escort Vexen to the nearest asylum, which was conveniently located on the outskirts of the Deep Jungle. Vexen continues to talk to himself, and Xaldin is in a bad mood due to this little side mission.)

Vexen: I know... a song... that get's on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, yes on ev....

Xaldin: Shut up, you demented old asshole! It's YOUR fault we're out here, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

(Vexen flinches, then begins muttering to himself again.)

Vexen: Orange crayons... and pudding. You don't know... the name of my goldfish! Flaming igloo! Tree!

Demyx: Xaldie, is he gonna be okay?

Xaldin, hissing: I don't know, and I don't give a shit!

Demyx: Fine!

(Vexen begins climbing the tree and disappears among the leaves. He grabs a nearby vine and swings into view, wearing nothing but a sky-blue loincloth.)

Xaldin: ... VEXEN!!! Come back here, you old fucker!

Demyx: Go Vexy!... Wait, I want one! Where'd ya get it?!?

Vexen: Kmart is an octopus!

Demyx: O-kay!

(Demyx disappears through a portal, leaving Xaldin to chase after the crazed Vexen.)

Xaldin: IX! Damn it.... Come back here, you old loon!

Vexen: Oy-ee-oy-ee! Oy-ee-oy-ee! Oy-ee-oy-ee-ay! I am Tarzan from jungle, you can be my friend!

Xaldin: Get down here before you break your fucking neck!

Vexen, dancing with the vine in his hand: You am Jane, and you like to ri-de an elephant! Me Tarzan, you Jane!

Xaldin: WHAT THE HELL?!? Get down here before....

(Tarzan appears, dropping from a branch above Vexen.)

Tarzan: No, me is Tarzan! You old spider monkey! You die!

(Vexen tries to run away, but falls out of the tree.)

Vexen: AAAGHHHH! Scintillating sunflower!

(Xaldin watches as he falls, and laughs when he realizes that Vexen has been knocked out.)

Xaldin, snickering: Dumbass....

(A few minutes later at the headquarters of the Organization, Xaldin stands in front of Xemnas and Saix with Vexen unconscious at his feet.)

Xaldin: .... He fell out of a tree....

Xemnas: .... I don't think I'll ask.

Xaldin, kicking Vexen: Good idea.

Xemnas: Take this member to the ward.... After he wakes, put him in solitary confinement until this spell passes.... That should cure it.

Saix, mumbling: I don't think you can cure something this ugly....

Xemnas: And Number IX is still unaccounted for....

Xaldin: ... He's at Kmart.

Xemnas: .... May I ask why?

Xaldin: I'm not really sure.

Xemnas: .... He'll come back. Eventually.

(A portal appears, revealing Demyx wearing only a yellow and orange striped loincloth.)

Demyx: Hel-lo! I'm BAAACK!

(There is complete silence for a moment, then Xigbar, Axel, and Roxas enter.)

Xigbar: Whaddaya think happened to him, though?

Roxas: I dunno. One minute he was fine, and then he just....

(They freeze and stare at Demyx.)

Demyx: Hi, guys! What do ya think?!?

Xigbar: It's ... It's spreading! The insanity! It's contagious!

Axel: .... What are you talking about?

Xigbar: It's COMS!!!

Roxas: What the hell's COMS?

Xigbar: Creepy Old Man Syndrome! It's symptoms include white hair, brown teeth, and weird laughing!

Axel: ... Sounds like you, Xiggy.

(Xigbar's face goes pale, and he starts laughing hysterically.)

Axel: It looks like you started the epidemic.... It's that damn jar of crap he has!

Roxas: The sugar?

Axel: It's not SUGAR! It's....

Roxas: Wait, the Superior has gray hair... Does that mean...?

Axel, jokingly: RUN!!!

Demyx: RUN, RUN AWAY!!!

(Demyx sprints out of the room.)

Xigbar: I-idiot!

Roxas: ... Like you?

Xigbar: It's spreading! BURN THEMMMMM!!!

Axel: ...Why would you punish the fire?

(Demyx comes back at super-speed, jumping up and down.)

Demyx: I'm BACK! Let's play!

Axel, whispering to Roxas: This is when we run.

(They begin to walk toward the door, hoping Demyx wouldn't see them.)

Demyx: Hey! Where ya guys goin'?

Axel: Uh... Nowhere. Nowhere at all.

Roxas: We're gonna go... clean the commons.

Demyx: I can help! I'll help!

Axel: No, we're okay. Really.

(Marluxia walks past, minding his own business. Axel grabs him by the arm and drags him between them and Demyx.)

Axel: Here, play with Marley. We'll see ya later, Demy!

Marluxia: WAIT! Do not leave me with this... freak!

Demyx: I wuv you, Mar-Mar!

Axel: Have fun Demy-sitting, Marley! See ya!

Marluxia: No! Take me with YOU!

(Demyx hugs Marluxia.)

Demyx: I wuv you!

(Roxas and Axel teleport to escape from the wrath of the psychotic, hyperactive Demyx.)

Demyx: You're one of my BEST friends, Marley! I love you, I really do!

Marluxia: Get off me this instant!

(Demyx pushes him into the table.)

Marluxia: Demyx, what are you....?!?

********

(Axel and Roxas have arrived in the Pride Lands, and they take on their lion forms. They immediately begin running for their lives.)

Axel: I think we mighta lost him... for now.

(They turn around to face the Pride Rock, and see a streak of yellow running toward them.)

Axel: Is that what I think it is?

(Demyx leaps up and pins Axel to the ground.)

Demyx: Boo!

Roxas: How the hell'd you get here?

Demyx: Portal, duh!

Axel, shoving Demyx off: Whaddaya want, Demy?

Demyx: I just wanna play tag with you guys!

Roxas: Axel....

Axel, whispering to Roxas: When I say go, you run that way, and I'll go this way.

Roxas: But he's a cheetah!

Axel: Yeah, but not a very SMART one. He can't get us both at once.

Roxas: Right. Let's make him run into a rock again!

Axel: Yeah, that's fun. One. Two. Three.... Four.... GO!

(Roxas and Axel run as fast as they can away from Demyx, who stands confused for a second, then takes off after them.)

Demyx: I wanna play!

Roxas: I thought... that cheetahs could only run really fast for a short period of time!

Axel: Well, the ones you're thinking of aren't high on sugar and crack! And they aren't Demyx!

Demyx, from a short way behind: I love you too, Roxas!

(Demyx begins to run after Roxas instead of trying to get both of them.)

Axel: Run, Roxy! RUN!

Roxas: Shit!

(Just as Demyx catches up, he finds himself surrounded by fire.)

Axel: Run, you dumbass!

Demyx, whining: Guys, that's not fair! Come on! Wait up!

(Demyx paces back and forth, forgetting that he knows how to control water.)

Demyx: Rox-AS! Come back!

Axel: Keep up! He's gonna come after us at any second!

Roxas: We've gotta stop him!

Axel: ... I don't think the laws of nature could stop him at this point. We've just gotta keep running until he dozes off. Like Xiggy usually does. It might be a while, though. We should see if we can hide out for a while. In a place where Dem doesn't have an advantage.

Roxas: Good idea. But where's that?

Axel: Pretty much anywhere but here. And Atlantica. That would be a bad idea.

Roxas: Yeah, 'specially for you.

(Axel rolls his eyes.)

Axel: You know very well that I'm not useless in that underwater shithole.

Roxas: On a scale of one to ten, how useful are you? Probably a 3. If you're lucky.

(Demyx, appearing once again out of nowhere, tackles Axel.)

Roxas: HOLY -

(Roxas runs into a tree.)

Axel: Keep running, Roxas! I'll catch up!

(Roxas hesitantly continues running away from Demyx. A few seconds later, Demyx is thrown up in the air on top of a geyser of fire, and Axel runs after Roxas.)

Axel: We've gotta get out of here! He almost crushed my fucking rib cage!

Roxas: Fine by me! How about BC?

Axel: Let's have just a little more fun first. He says he wants to play, after all. Besides, it'll make it harder for him to follow us.

Roxas: What do ya have in mind?

Axel: Rock.

Roxas: Nice. Let's do it.

(Demyx is seen jumping from the top of the geyser, and he begins sprinting after them again.)

Axel: When he gets to that tree, we'll go separate ways around the rock, and he'll go...

Roxas: Face first. This'll be fun to see.

Demyx, yelling: I'm gonna get you guys!

Axel: Get ready..... GO!

(They dodge out of the way at the last second, and Demyx plows into the rock.)

Roxas: Awesome! Let's get out of here!

Demyx, dazed: Ouch, ouch, ouch! Hey! Where'd ya guys go?!?


End file.
